Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Dependence: its NOT a curse word


  In America, we are taught independence is best. We live in such a way that we fool ourselves into believing we can do anything if we just work hard enough. The “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” philosophy.  I, too, was one that bought into this way of thinking.  I have always been a very independent person. Even as a young girl I enjoyed doing things my own way and on my own.  I am slowly learning that full independence is not healthy and maybe not even what God desires of us to begin with.

A month ago I could drive myself to work or to the store or even to a new part of the city I had never been to before.  I could go for a walk or ride my bicycle around my street without wondering if I would be safe or if I would be able to adequately communicate with whom I may meet.  Maybe that is why culture shock this time around has presented itself as having to do with lack of independence. As a white female in East Africa, life has become completely about dependence. I do not travel anywhere alone, I do not drive myself anywhere, often  I am not in control of what I eat or when, and there have even been times when I am unable to go to the bathroom alone (because it is located outside in TZ and its not safe alone at night).  In fact, the most alone time I get is up in my room or in the library at school before tea time reading or having a quiet time.

When you read that last paragraph you may think, “wow you really are complaining..whats the point?” Well, I didn’t mean to complain I am really just trying to set the stage for you to understand these lessons I am learning.  Largely, my definition of independence and its importance has been shattered. In a good way! The most beneficial way possible! You see, I observe my African friends, co-workers, and peers when there is an important need that arises.  At first I was very self-conscious wondering if I was inconveniencing them by making them go out of their way for me. After a request I would watch them for any sign of frustration, annoyance, or the like. It never came. One time I even asked and was met with a reply of, “of course not! Everyone has needs”……enter light bulb moment.  I have learned from many that the safest, most effective, and enjoyable way to live involves dependence. We NEED others. We NEED God. We can try and pretend we are completely capable, self-sufficient, independent humans or we can admit the truth….everyone has needs.  If I could be completely independent I would not even have a need for Jesus. Let me tell you, I KNOW I need Jesus!

                Living in East Africa takes dependence on others but especially on God. You cant be an island…well, healthily anyway.  Plus, these concepts are actually biblical. The book of Acts is full of scripture discussing living in community with others and with God.

 Acts 2: 44 “All the believers were together and shared everything”
I know that I did not get myself to East Africa so while living here why would I try to act like I don’t need others and that I don’t need God? I am not. I refuse it. I am thankful that I am surrounded by trustworthy followers of Him and that I serve a BIG God that is worthy! This makes dependence dare I say…..fun?

Sunday, September 8, 2013

Whole-hearted living


“Fredrick Beuchner writes, “The place God calls us to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.” I had been more than happy all my life in my home in Brentwood. But my deep gladness and the world’s hunger met in Uganda. My heart sang in Uganda. Everything in Uganda made me feel alive. Uganda was home, the place God was calling me, and I had to get back as quickly as possible.” – Kisses From Katie

For the past four years it has felt that I am living with my heart in two places.  It is hard to describe but when I left Africa the last time I left a piece of me here. I knew that I would return to East Africa, it was inevitable really if I was to become whole-hearted once again. Arriving in East Africa felt surreal, exciting, and exhausting (very long trip) and it actually took me about a week to fully comprehend that “I am here! I am in East Africa!” Although I was born, raised, and will always consider Kansas my home East Africa fulfills me in a way I never knew possible. Above Katie from the book “Kisses From Katie” writes of her own experience of God calling her to Uganda I am feeling the similar tug on my heart. There are so many unknowns..I don’t know how or if God will provide for me to live my life in East Africa. But I know for sure that HE is God and I am not and His ways are different than my ways and His thoughts are not my thoughts. I feel the Lord whispering to my soul here over and over from Psalm 46: 10 “Be still and know that I am God! I will be honored by every nation. I will be honored throughout the world.” Whatever He is doing I want to be a part of it whether that is here in East Africa, in America, or elsewhere.

Matthew 6:21

Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will be also.”

Monday, September 2, 2013

The Beginning


Hello from Nakuru, Kenya! Finally arrived here yesterday and it feels good to be at a final destination for a few months! I can hardly believe I have been in East Africa now for a little over 2 weeks (August 17 I arrived in Tanzania)! The past two weeks have been full of travel to many places in Tanzania and it was a fabulous time! It was a great opportunity to see friends and meet a lot of my boyfriend, Octavian's family!

Here is a brief overview of my travels….

Spent 3 days in Dar es Salaam with Octavian’s sister in law and her family

Traveled to Morogoro (3 and half hours by bus) with Chris (Oct brother) and stayed 4 days with Mary (Oct’s sister) and her family

Traveled to Ifakara (5 hours by bus) with Chris and Masadi (Oct’s neice) to visit Octavian’s parents

Stayed 3 days in Ifakara then traveled back to Morogoro and stayed 2 days and then traveled 13 hours by bus with Chris to Nairobi

In Nairobi we stayed 4 days and on the 3rd day Octavian and his friend Winston met up with us

On the 4th day Octavian, Winston, and I traveled to Nakuru (3 hours by bus from Nairobi) to the final destination for a while!

One of the best things about traveling are the random and ridiculous sights and signs you see

Here are a few of my personal favorites

-          In Switzerland airport – sign says…..Be relax

-          In Dar Es Salaam, Tanzania- sign advertising …Real California haircuts ---  what is a real California haircut and how is it possibly found in TZ?!

-          In Morogoro, Tanzania – Toto Fashion …. At first glance I assumed toto from the wizard of oz its actually meaning children

-          In Ifakara, Tanzania – a person sporting a santa hat with sticker stars on it…in the middle of August…then again, it is just a hat.

-          In Nairobi, Kenya supermarket – bottle of baby cologne….why do babies need cologne?

-          Previously when I was in TZ popular songs blared from Dala Dalas (bus) were “Barbie girl” or “Macarena” … this time has been “Don’t Go Chasin Waterfalls” and old school Britney Spears…..I’ll take it!

-          In Nairobi, Kenya supermarket – VERY old man using a VERY small shopping cart (clearly for children) to go around the whole store and shop! … there were adult sized carts available
There is much I am still processing and learning but just wanted to give a good update since there has not been one yet!
Napenda,
Hallie (Mbiki)

Sunday, August 11, 2013

"Every new beginning comes at some other beginning's end......"

 I will be headed to Africa on Friday, August 16th! THIS WEEK! Unreal!
This past weekend I spent a lot of time on the road to a wedding in Oklahoma (last one of the summer! WOO!) A popular song from the 90's came on and I took some time to reflect on the significance of the lyrics and how it fits my experience this week! (Lyrics are in the title of this blog!)

To be honest, I have always found endings to be pretty depressing. When good books and captivating movies end I am often left wanting more and sad that the enthralling story has come to a close (nerd alert? Yup!).  Endings often hold a lot of emotion including loss, sadness, grief, and maybe even tears. My counseling knowledge reminds me: These are not "bad" emotions or a negative experience, it just is.  Emotions are not singularly felt and can happen simultaneously even if they contradict one another.

The comfort in coping with the ending and leaving those I love is in being with the One who never leaves.
Matthew 28:20b  "And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age." 
Hebrews 13:5 "Don’t love money; be satisfied with what you have. For God has said, “I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.”
In these I find peace, comfort, and the assurance that though I am leaving I am not going alone.

I am continually learning that endings are not always just endings completely.
 The ending of books, movies, and even seasons of life can also indicate that something new, fresh, and exciting is just around the corner. 
Considering this, feelings of both excitement and sadness are to be expected! 

As Ecclesiastes 3:3-8 says, there truly is a time for everything.....

A Time for Everything

For everything there is a season,
    a time for every activity under heaven
  A time to be born and a time to die.
    A time to plant and a time to harvest. 
 A time to kill and a time to heal.
    A time to tear down and a time to build up.
A time to cry and a time to laugh.
    A time to grieve and a time to dance. 
 A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
    A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
A time to search and a time to quit searching.
    A time to keep and a time to throw away.
A time to tear and a time to mend.
    A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
  A time to love and a time to hate.
    A time for war and a time for peace.


Here's a video with the full song in it! Enjoy

Blessings,
Hallie

Monday, July 8, 2013

Some Facts....


Here are some facts to help clarify what, where, with who, and when I will be working......
Where: Nakuru, Kenya - a city located in Kenya's rift valley with about 300,000 inhabitants
What: Volunteer Counselor
Who: United Methodist Mission School - a boarding school with about 850 students with over 50 percent orphans or vulnerable children
When: 6 months - I leave August 16 and return the end of February
Why: WHY NOT? 

John 14: 18 (NIV)  "I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you."

This video gives you a bit more of a glimpse into Nakuru, Kenya, Kenya Partners, and the UMMS!
 

Kenya Partners: A New Journey

Ever since leaving East Africa for the last time in 2009, I had a strong desire to return.  A part of me also knew this would happen...someday, somehow.
I must admit the not knowing of how this would actually happen was nerve-racking for me. In the fall of 2012 I felt this more than ever and began looking for different opportunities abroad.  Through a search that turned up little except heightened frustrations... I resigned to trust God and ask Him for what was next. (Wouldn't that have been great if it was my first response instead of a last resort. You may not know this but I have a tendency to be stubborn and this was a great example.)
Anyway, I decided to let Him take over.......

About a month or so after this I was talking with my good friend Jayne whom I had previously traveled with to East Africa in 2009 (pictured below). Jayne told me of a website that had connected her with a church to once again go back to Africa a few years earlier.  She told me I should probably check it out and see where the Lord would lead....what a wise lady!
                                Pictured: Me, Kate, Joe Joe (baby Sawyer), Jayne, and Devon

So....I looked at the website: http://www.umcmission.org/
On this page there is a portion of the site dedicated to health care volunteers where both potential volunteers and sites with opportunities can post. One of the listings mentioned a trip to Kenya for a few weeks in the summer and said possible extended stays and internships available.
I emailed the address listed inquiring for more information and noting my Masters degree and license as a Professional Counselor.
A few hours later I received a response from the director of an organization called Kenya Partners stating that the previous day they had a long meeting at the United Methodist Mission School (UMMS) reviewing the main needs of the school.  She said that the main theme of what is needed most is help with counseling. She also said that they had made strides in certain areas to prepare for someone to come longer term but were still praying that God would bring someone.
When I read this email....I was floored. And shocked. And stupidly excited!
Amazing that God would allow me the resources to receive a degree in counseling and then also allow me to connect with a school that is in need .... in AFRICA!

Jeremiah 33:3 (NLT) "Ask me and I will tell you remarkable secrets you do not know about things to come."

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Mbiki? What's that?

  The title of this post may have been your response when you opened up this blog. 
Well, friends....that's me! 
On my last trip to East Africa I was given that nickname by some friends.
 It is KiLuguru (a tribal language of the Luguru people who live in Tanzania, Africa) and to my best understanding it means "wise sister".
As I was thinking about what tagline to use for this blog and impending journey I thought what better name than one that was given by East Africans themselves! 
The main purpose of this blog is to document, share, and of course keep you all informed of the happenings on the other side of the globe!