I see Jesus

I see Jesus everywhere.

I see Jesus in the glorious fertile mountains ready to harvest.

I see Jesus in the brightly shining stars that seem so close to touch and hang in the sky only to display the glory of their Creator.

I see Jesus in the face of my friend Julius who tirelessly and selflessly serves and manages Kenya Partners projects.

I see Jesus in the eyes of the chemistry teacher whose countenance flows joy and love for his students.

I see Jesus in the secondary student who took time to help a Mzungu get rid  of siafu (fire ants).

I see Jesus in my 8^th grade friend who greets me everyday and shares a love of reading.

I see Jesus in the 5 children gathering around to style and braid my hair.

I see Jesus in the school nurse who voluntarily visits the school to treat sick children.

I see Jesus in the guidance/biology teacher who desperately wants to understand and love her students.

I see Jesus in the face of the orphan whose parents have died from HIV and cares for their younger siblings.

I see Jesus in the lines of the blood bank filled with students from UMMS who went to donate blood to their fellow country men and women in the wake of a horrible tragedy.

I see Jesus everywhere….because I am looking for Him.

In light of a tragedy.......

I have not posted in a few weeks. I honestly dreaded writing this post in particular because I felt I needed to record what I have had to process through. It is written as we and us when talking about relating with God but rest assured knowing that I am speaking to myself as much as others.

 If you have been watching the news you will have noticed that one week ago there was a tragic incident in Nairobi, Kenya. On a busy shopping Saturday at a upscale mall on the west edge of town gunmen invaded and took hostages, killed innocent people, and created chaos. Four days later 3 floors of the mall collapsed killing the gunmen and any remaining hostages.  It was a long and tragic incident and one that has left me at a loss for words for the last week or so.

I am not sure I can describe how humbling it has been to be in a country that is not your own that experiences national tragedy.  The response of Kenyans has reminded me of the national pride and care that took place in the United States following the September 11^th attacks. Blood donation centers had so many people they had to turn away citizens willing to donate and as a nation has raised over 69 million Ksh (almost 1 million US dollars) for victims and their families.

When tragedy strikes in our broken world there is the temptation of many to ask why. We wonder why bad things happen to good innocent people. We wonder why God would allow such a thing to happen. The truth is that evil is in our world. We live in a world that is fallen, corrupted, and makes us question God himself. In this time I am reminded of:

John 16:33

“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”

This verse is from Jesus himself. He flat out tells us you WILL have trials and sorrows. So when they do come in our life why are we surprised by them? Instead of taking the peace He gives and “taking heart” as the verse says we question, we wonder, and even point the finger at God.

The Westgate attack in Nairobi was an awful event and one that many will mourn and remember for the rest of their lives. But in the pain, in the agony let us not forget God is a God of love and redemption mourning alongside of us and bringing beauty from the ashes.

What's happening at UMMS?

One full week now spent at the United Methodist Mission School here in Nakuru. This is the main school I will be working at. Here are some highlights:

-          Playing hand slapping games with primary students….everyday

-          Getting a tour of the school daily by a student I meet who is eager to show off the newest Mzungu to the school

-          Reading the “boxcar children” to 3^rd graders  who identify more than I can understand of the story of 4 orphaned siblings who must now care for themselves and one another

-          Listening to the after school worship of students, teachers, cooks, and other staff workers as they praise their Savior simply because He is worthy!

-          Seeing children who have been through much in their young life simply be children by playing and laughing while everything else fades away

-          Swahili lessons from the top class – the kindergarten class at the nursery school…yeah, we are pretty much on the same level

-          Students that find it hilariously curious that a Mzungu knows some Kiswahili

-          At the same time these same students shocked to realize how not fluent in Kiswahili that same mzungu is

-          3^rd grade boy chasing classmates around with a fake cockroach …for 30 minutes. Even in Africa, boys are boys

Hearing 1^st -3^rd graders respond proudly, boldly, and eagerly when the teacher asks, “Who was Jesus?” One small boy excitedly declared “The Son of God!” Five years old and so sure of who his Jesus is!

Ordinary

The following passage is not from my own journal but from the book Kisses From Katie. In this book, Katie talks about her own life and how she journeys to Uganda and adopts many children. These are her personal reflections that have really resonated with me. I feel as though I could have written these words as they reflect my heart as well.

“Ordinary People.

He chose Moses. He chose David. He chose Peter and Paul. He chose me. He chose you. Common People. Simple people. People with nothing special about them. Nothing special except they said yes. They obeyed. They took the task God assigned them and they did it. They didn’t always do it well, but they said yes, and with His help they did it anyway.

Ordinary tasks.

Moses was a murderer, a shepherd just trying to mind his own business and move on with his life when he watched a bush catch fire and not burn up. God wanted to use him to lead His chosen people out of Egypt. Moses was human and told God that He had the wrong guy. Moses wasn’t an eloquent speaker, and he was afraid. But he said yes and God used him anyway. The Red Sea parted, break fell from Heaven, and people believed.

Jonah was an ordinary fisherman and God wanted to use him to set Ninevah free from its wicked ways. Jonah was human and ran away, overwhelmed by the task God had given him. From the belly of a fish, he repented, he begged for forgiveness. He said yes, and God used him anyway. The people of Ninevah believed in God, turned from their evil ways, and were spared from destruction.

David was a shepherd boy, pretty much the runt of the litter, the very last thought in his father’s mind, and despised by his brothers. God wanted to use him to be the next great king of Israel. Though everyone doubted and watched in horror, David said yes, and God used him anyway. Little David used a stone to take down the giant Philistine. The Philistines were defeated, and though David continued to make mistakes, God used him to make Israel a great nation and relay His words to many people.

Mary was a peasant girl, probably a teenager, getting ready to marry a local carpenter. God wanted to use her to carry His Son, hope for all mankind into the world. She asked the angel, “Why me?” and “How?” Ultimately, though, she surrendered herself to His will. She said yes, and God used her anyway. A baby was born who transformed the world then, and still does today.

Paul was a young man who made it his goal to destroy Christianity, dragging believers to prison and even killing them. God wanted to use him to proclaim his name to the Gentiles all over the world. Paul had a violent history and initially other believers were afraid. But he said yes, he fearlessly proclaimed the Gospel, and God used him anyway. Paul performed and witnessed miracles, wrote close to half of the Bible, and spread the Good News all over the world.

Sometimes the everyday routine of my life feels so normal to me. At other times the idea of raising all these children seems like a daunting task. I realize that since I have chosen an unusual path it is easier for outsiders to look at my life and come to the conclusion that is something extraordinary. That I am courageous. That I am strong. That I am special. But I am just a plain girl from Tennessee. Broken in many ways, sinful, and inadequate. Common and simple with nothing special about me. Nothing special except that I choose to say “yes”. “Yes” to the things God asks of me and “yes” to the people He places in front of me. You can too. I am just an ordinary person. An ordinary person serving an extraordinary God.” – Kisses From Katie, p. 113-115

“People from my first home say I’m brave. They tell me I’m strong. They pat me on the back an say, “Way to go. Good job.” But the truth is, I am not really very brave; I am not really very strong; and I’m not doing anything spectacular. I am simply doing what God has called me to do as a person who follows Him. He said to feed His sheep and He said to care for “the least of these”, so that’s what I’m doing, with the help of a lot of people who make it possible and in the company of those who make my life worth living.” – Kisses From Katie, p. 95-96

A Day at Squatter's Hill Nursery School

“I am a child! Give me my right!

A right to clothes.

A right to eat.

A right to play.

A right to pray.

A right to learn.

I am a child! Give me my right!”

These were the words recited by 150 students in 3 classrooms in the slums of Nakuru last week. These were the words proudly recited to me and 3 other Wazungu (white people) visitors. Children with torn and tattered uniforms, toms on their feet, morning’s porridge in their stomachs, and hearts bursting to share what they had been learning at nursery school. The alphabet, numbers, and songs about Jesus were loudly and boldly proclaimed by these dear little ones in each of the 3 classes we went to. Squatters Hill Nursery school is a day school for pre-first grade children in a very poor area. Basically, it’s a pre-school/kindergarten that prepares children to begin their elementary years. This particular school is situated in a slum in Nakuru and provides education to young children who would otherwise be unable to attend school due to lack of ability to pay school fees and no having a school in their neighborhood.  Each day this school feeds not only its 150-200 Nursery school kids but hundreds in the village also. Not once….TWICE. A day.  There are a team of women who cook, prepare, clean up, and serve everyone to their fill. One of the most humbling experiences so far was to serve alongside these women.

In Kenya the school year is broken into 3 terms and goes year round with week long or month long breaks between each term. These dedicated women feared the Squatters Hill children and village children would not be fed during this time so they dedicated their term break to continuing to faithfully come to the school and play, teach, feed, and give the children a safe place to go. I wonder how many educators in the US would dedicate their time, energy, and rest as sacrificially as these women did. Now that is being faithful! This is not the main school I will be working at but it taught me a lot in my short time there.

Dependence: its NOT a curse word

  In America, we are taught independence is best. We live in such a way that we fool ourselves into believing we can do anything if we just work hard enough. The “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” philosophy.  I, too, was one that bought into this way of thinking.  I have always been a very independent person. Even as a young girl I enjoyed doing things my own way and on my own.  I am slowly learning that full independence is not healthy and maybe not even what God desires of us to begin with.

A month ago I could drive myself to work or to the store or even to a new part of the city I had never been to before.  I could go for a walk or ride my bicycle around my street without wondering if I would be safe or if I would be able to adequately communicate with whom I may meet.  Maybe that is why culture shock this time around has presented itself as having to do with lack of independence. As a white female in East Africa, life has become completely about dependence. I do not travel anywhere alone, I do not drive myself anywhere, often  I am not in control of what I eat or when, and there have even been times when I am unable to go to the bathroom alone (because it is located outside in TZ and its not safe alone at night).  In fact, the most alone time I get is up in my room or in the library at school before tea time reading or having a quiet time.

When you read that last paragraph you may think, “wow you really are complaining..whats the point?” Well, I didn’t mean to complain I am really just trying to set the stage for you to understand these lessons I am learning.  Largely, my definition of independence and its importance has been shattered. In a good way! The most beneficial way possible! You see, I observe my African friends, co-workers, and peers when there is an important need that arises.  At first I was very self-conscious wondering if I was inconveniencing them by making them go out of their way for me. After a request I would watch them for any sign of frustration, annoyance, or the like. It never came. One time I even asked and was met with a reply of, “of course not! Everyone has needs”……enter light bulb moment.  I have learned from many that the safest, most effective, and enjoyable way to live involves dependence. We NEED others. We NEED God. We can try and pretend we are completely capable, self-sufficient, independent humans or we can admit the truth….everyone has needs.  If I could be completely independent I would not even have a need for Jesus. Let me tell you, I KNOW I need Jesus!

                Living in East Africa takes dependence on others but especially on God. You cant be an island…well, healthily anyway.  Plus, these concepts are actually biblical. The book of Acts is full of scripture discussing living in community with others and with God.

 Acts 2: 44 “All the believers were together and shared everything”

I know that I did not get myself to East Africa so while living here why would I try to act like I don’t need others and that I don’t need God? I am not. I refuse it. I am thankful that I am surrounded by trustworthy followers of Him and that I serve a BIG God that is worthy! This makes dependence dare I say…..fun?

Whole-hearted living

“Fredrick Beuchner writes, “The place God calls us to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.” I had been more than happy all my life in my home in Brentwood. But my deep gladness and the world’s hunger met in Uganda. My heart sang in Uganda. Everything in Uganda made me feel alive. Uganda was home, the place God was calling me, and I had to get back as quickly as possible.” – Kisses From Katie

For the past four years it has felt that I am living with my heart in two places.  It is hard to describe but when I left Africa the last time I left a piece of me here. I knew that I would return to East Africa, it was inevitable really if I was to become whole-hearted once again. Arriving in East Africa felt surreal, exciting, and exhausting (very long trip) and it actually took me about a week to fully comprehend that “I am here! I am in East Africa!” Although I was born, raised, and will always consider Kansas my home East Africa fulfills me in a way I never knew possible. Above Katie from the book “Kisses From Katie” writes of her own experience of God calling her to Uganda I am feeling the similar tug on my heart. There are so many unknowns..I don’t know how or if God will provide for me to live my life in East Africa. But I know for sure that HE is God and I am not and His ways are different than my ways and His thoughts are not my thoughts. I feel the Lord whispering to my soul here over and over from Psalm 46: 10 “Be still and know that I am God! I will be honored by every nation. I will be honored throughout the world.” Whatever He is doing I want to be a part of it whether that is here in East Africa, in America, or elsewhere.

Matthew 6:21

Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will be also.”

The Beginning

Hello from Nakuru, Kenya! Finally arrived here yesterday and it feels good to be at a final destination for a few months! I can hardly believe I have been in East Africa now for a little over 2 weeks (August 17 I arrived in Tanzania)! The past two weeks have been full of travel to many places in Tanzania and it was a fabulous time! It was a great opportunity to see friends and meet a lot of my boyfriend, Octavian's family!

Here is a brief overview of my travels….

Spent 3 days in Dar es Salaam with Octavian’s sister in law and her family

Traveled to Morogoro (3 and half hours by bus) with Chris (Oct brother) and stayed 4 days with Mary (Oct’s sister) and her family

Traveled to Ifakara (5 hours by bus) with Chris and Masadi (Oct’s neice) to visit Octavian’s parents

Stayed 3 days in Ifakara then traveled back to Morogoro and stayed 2 days and then traveled 13 hours by bus with Chris to Nairobi

In Nairobi we stayed 4 days and on the 3^rd day Octavian and his friend Winston met up with us

On the 4^th day Octavian, Winston, and I traveled to Nakuru (3 hours by bus from Nairobi) to the final destination for a while!

One of the best things about traveling are the random and ridiculous sights and signs you see

Here are a few of my personal favorites

-          In Switzerland airport – sign says…..Be relax

-          In Dar Es Salaam, Tanzania- sign advertising …Real California haircuts ---  what is a real California haircut and how is it possibly found in TZ?!

-          In Morogoro, Tanzania – Toto Fashion …. At first glance I assumed toto from the wizard of oz its actually meaning children

-          In Ifakara, Tanzania – a person sporting a santa hat with sticker stars on it…in the middle of August…then again, it is just a hat.

-          In Nairobi, Kenya supermarket – bottle of baby cologne….why do babies need cologne?

-          Previously when I was in TZ popular songs blared from Dala Dalas (bus) were “Barbie girl” or “Macarena” … this time has been “Don’t Go Chasin Waterfalls” and old school Britney Spears…..I’ll take it!

-          In Nairobi, Kenya supermarket – VERY old man using a VERY small shopping cart (clearly for children) to go around the whole store and shop! … there were adult sized carts available

There is much I am still processing and learning but just wanted to give a good update since there has not been one yet!

Napenda,

Hallie (Mbiki)